Relationship First Aid

By Sheila White, MFTC 

verified by Psychology Today

Remember this is a temporary situation.

This is a time of uncertainty and upheaval. Each of us processes information differently. Feelings of anxiety, grief, depression, and sleep disturbances are common. Give each other permission to feel their feelings.

Give each other permission to feel “ Not OK” in difficult times.

We all things differently.  Just because you handle it one way and I another does not mean we can’t support each other.

Say thank you

Thank you to each other for everything they do large or small even if you have said thank you 300 times for the same thing, say thank you again.

Help each other out

If your partner doesn’t do all of their chores step up and do them yourself.

Schedule time for fun

  • Watching a funny movie
  • Dancing to music in the living room
  • Go on a picnic
  • Play board games
  • Play twister
  • Learn to play the banjo
  • Take a zoom cooking class together
  • Have a video chat dinner with friends or family.
  • Get out in nature
  • Take a long walk at a nature reserve
  • Get a trail map to explore trails to walk. (Be sure and check the ratings whether they’re easy and easy medium or difficult.)
  • Go on a hike in the mountains.
  • Cook s’mores over your grill
  • Go bird watching.

Be kind to yourself and to your partner

Don’t beat yourself up for what you’re not getting done or what you think you should be doing. Offer each other compassion.

Schedule time for communication

Put it on the calendar or pick a time each day or week that is consistent.

Ask your partner for what you need

If you want to improve your communication skills   (And who doesn’t!)

Google: “couples dialogue” or “intentional dialogue“ from Harville Hendrix’s book “Getting the Love you Want.” He outlines an excellent method of learning how to communicate clearly and how to make sure you understood what was said.

Schedule time for self-care

This is a stressful time.  Self-care is paramount.  Some couples schedule 30 minutes a day for themselves to do what helps them relax. A hot bath, reading a good book, meditate, yoga, racquetball, whatever self-care means to you.

Ask for help if you need it 

Reach out for support. Therapists are available to do teletherapy and there are many resources that are lower-cost affordable counseling including here at road to growth counseling!

See my reading recommendations


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