By: Kelsey McKay, MFTC
What is IFS?
Why is everyone talking about IFS Therapy? Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, developed by family therapist, Richard Schwartz, is based on the idea that each person is made up of multiple sub-personalities. These sub-personalities are called “parts” and these parts function like a family system. Dr. Schwartz developed this modality while working with women diagnosed with eating disorders. He continuously noticed that they would speak about different parts of themselves. Stating things like, “one part of me knows that the eating disorder is internally hurting me, while another part of me wants to heal that in order to feel better within my body.” From this framework, he began digging deeper into what the different parts thought, how they felt, and how they behaved. He began questioning his clients further and discovered how many more parts each client held within. From here, he found that client’s parts are not limited and can evolve through time.
Although he started this therapeutic theory with individuals, he eventually transformed this work to utilize with couples and families alike. Today, IFS therapy has grown immensely in popularity, due to its evidence-based, humanistic, and experiential nature. In an IFS session, visualization, meditation, and talk therapy are interwoven to create a unique experience.
More About Parts
Parts are seen as distinct aspects of the Self, each with its own thoughts, feelings, and roles. IFS works to identify and understand these parts, with the common goal of healing the wounded or reactive parts and harmonizing the internal system. The key idea is that there are no inherently “bad” parts, but some may take on extreme roles due to past traumas or unresolved emotions.
Parts work in conjunction with a person’s “Self” energy. One goal of IFS is to foster a strong connection with the Self, which is seen as a person’s core; a compassionate, and calm inner leader. The Self can heal and guide the other parts, creating internal balance and harmony.
Key Aspects in IFS
The Self
The Self is portrayed as the conductor of the orchestra and resembles who someone is at their core. The Self is constructed of 8 different components:
- Compassion
- Curiosity
- Clarity
- Calm
- Connection
- Creativity
- Confidence
- Courage
When you are in a state of Self, you will experience aspects of these 8 C’s. The Self and parts are differentiated, as the Self is the main attachment figure for these separate parts. In the context of IFS work, the Self must come at the parts with one of these 8 C’s in order to begin working with and digging into that part further.
Other than the 8 C’s of IFS, the 5 P’s are also principles that represent the Self and self-energy.
The 5 P’s of IFS Therapy:
- Perspective
- Persistence
- Patience
- Presence
- Playfulness
These 5 P’s, coupled with the 8 C’s are all characteristics of the self-energy. These are thoughts, beliefs, and emotions that the Self possesses and utilizes to un-blend from the parts. Although the Self and parts are within the system, they need to be separate for the healing to begin and to allow for each part to contribute in its own authentic ways.
The Parts
There are three main categories of parts. There is the protective system, which is composed of Managers and Firefighters. Next, there is the vulnerable system, made up of Exiles.
Managers and Firefighters are known as the protectors because they are pre-emptively ensuring that exiled parts do not get triggered, so that a person can function throughout their daily life. Exiles make up the vulnerable system, because these are parts that hurt or are in pain, they are locked away by the protectors and hardly seen or understood within the system.
These are the three categories:
- Managers: Parts that try to keep the person in control, often by avoiding difficult emotions or situations.
Managers cover up parts that are deemed as more “extreme,” because they want to protect the system from getting upset or activated by a certain situation or interaction. They try to control and mitigate unwanted emotions, even those that may arise from external stimuli. Examples of these types of Manager parts may be perfectionists, people-pleasing parts, overthinking parts, or caretakers.
- Firefighters: Parts that act impulsively to extinguish emotional pain, sometimes through harmful behaviors.
Firefighters are known as a line of defense to block out these vulnerable parts. These Firefighters can often appear reactive as they try to suppress these “extreme” feelings. This can happen through behaviors such as sex, addiction and drug use, or binge-watching TV. Aside from these examples, Firefighters can also look like anger, aggression, or self-harm.
- Exiles: Wounded parts that carry pain, fear, or shame.
Exiles are parts that may represent someone’s inner-child. They are typically the most sensitive, emotional parts, as they may have experienced trauma or hurt in the past, and they are stuck there. Exiles are the ones that sit and hold the pain of the emotional system.
Exiles typically hold pain, but also hold burdens. Burdens are characterized as beliefs or emotions that accumulate through trauma and hurt. Common examples of Exiles look like parts that are abandoned, isolated, hopeless, vulnerable, empty, or lonely.
These parts desperately want to be known, but are also terrified of being seen. If you picture a house, these parts are the ones that are locked in the basement, covered by the protector parts, who do not want the Exiles to surface in daily interactions. Exiles need to be brought out of isolation to have their stories told, and to be heard and understood. They can manifest in an assortment of ways, such as dreams, illnesses, or somatic experiences. However, when Exiles experience healing, they want to go play, as they exhibit creativeness and curiosity.
Unblending Self from Parts
To execute IFS therapy, the Self must start to unblend and disconnect from the parts, since the Self is a separate entity. The best question for unblending the Self from parts is: How do you feel toward this part? If the answer is one of the 8 C’s or is related to one of those, then the Self is beginning to unblend from the parts, and the Self can recognize that there are separate parts.
In IFS, the 6 F’s are usually done in session to work through different parts. However, it can take a very long time for each part to step forward. Typically the protectors are still blocking the exiles. Due to this, before going through all 6 of these F’s, we have to make sure that all parts are on board in the system, including the Self.
The 6 F’s of IFS, which work with different parts (mostly managers and firefighters first to get permission to go to the exile):
- Find – Find the part – How are these parts manifesting? Where is this part? This could be a body sensation, image, emotion, or inner voice.
- Focus – Focus on the part/Flesh it out – What do you notice about the part? Does it have an age? How is the part responding to you drawing attention to it?
- Feel toward – How do you feel toward this part? This is an unblending question. If the answer is not one of the 8 C’s or related to them, you need do to more unblending.
- Friend – Befriend the part. Does this part trust you?
- Find out – What does this part want to know? What is this part’s job? What does it need?
- Fears – Fears or concerns of the part. What are you afraid that you’ll have to face if this part stopped doing its job?
Who is IFS Right For?
IFS is extremely adaptable and can be used with an assortment of mental health disorders and conditions, such as depression, anxiety, trauma, substance use, bipolar disorder, body image issues, and phobias. Many hours of training go into those who are trained in IFS, therefore, please be sure to work with an IFS practitioner or licensed therapist.
Helpful IFS Resources
Parts journaling or parts mapping – You can create an image of a tree, the tree trunk is the Self, branches are different parts. It can be helpful to write out these parts, you can use different colors for managers, firefighters, or exiles.
The Path Meditation – This is a common IFS meditation used with IFS clients, as it aides in visualizing their Self separate from the parts.
No Bad Parts – A book by Dr. Richard Schwartz
Internal Family Systems Therapy – A book by Dr. Richard Schwartz and Martha Sweezy
