By Jenna DeRosa, LPCC
Oftentimes when looking for a relationship, individuals have a list of what they look for in a person. This can be; height, looks, income, physical build, hair color, eye color and more. Notice that all of these traits are physical.
There are other needs that need to be acknowledged in a relationship in order for you to recognize if that relationship is healthy. There are both negative and positive signs to look out for to determine if you have a high-quality connection with your current or future partner.
These signs are listed below, but there are MANY more.
| Positive Signs | Negative Signs |
|---|---|
| Your feelings (both positive and negative) are validated by your partner | Extreme highs and lows that are happening frequently; blissfully happy every now and then |
| You have your own hobbies, talents, interests aside from your partner | Your mood depends on the state of the relationship |
| You have the autonomy to spend time with friends/family without your partner without feeling guilty | Responsibility is always put on you for fights; blame gets put on you for “ruining the best thing that ever happened to you” |
| Your partner listens to you with respect | You’re feeling less secure, less confident, less attractive than you were before the relationship |
| You have the right to ask for what you want in your relationship | Feeling the need to explain and defend yourself; feeling on the defense |
| Trusting that your partner wouldn’t intentionally do anything to hurt you | You feel inadequate, that you’re falling short of your partner’s expectations |
| Ability to be honest and truthful with your partner without worrying about judgment | Carefully controlling your words, actions, and emotions around your partner |
