By Jenna DeRosa, LPCC
Oftentimes when looking for a relationship, individuals have a list of what they look for in a person. This can be; height, looks, income, physical build, hair color, eye color and more. Notice that all of these traits are physical.
There are other needs that need to be acknowledged in a relationship in order for you to recognize if that relationship is healthy. There are both negative and positive signs to look out for to determine if you have a high-quality connection with your current or future partner.
These signs are listed below, but there are MANY more.
|Positive Signs||Negative Signs|
|Your feelings (both positive and negative) are validated by your partner||Extreme highs and lows that are happening frequently; blissfully happy every now and then|
|You have your own hobbies, talents, interests aside from your partner||Your mood depends on the state of the relationship|
|You have the autonomy to spend time with friends/family without your partner without feeling guilty||Responsibility is always put on you for fights; blame gets put on you for “ruining the best thing that ever happened to you”|
|Your partner listens to you with respect||You’re feeling less secure, less confident, less attractive than you were before the relationship|
|You have the right to ask for what you want in your relationship||Feeling the need to explain and defend yourself; feeling on the defense|
|Trusting that your partner wouldn’t intentionally do anything to hurt you||You feel inadequate, that you’re falling short of your partner’s expectations|
|Ability to be honest and truthful with your partner without worrying about judgment||Carefully controlling your words, actions, and emotions around your partner|