High Quality Connections

By Jenna DeRosa, LPCC 

verified by Psychology Today

Oftentimes when looking for a relationship, individuals have a list of what they look for in a person. This can be; height, looks, income, physical build, hair color, eye color and more. Notice that all of these traits are physical.

There are other needs that need to be acknowledged in a relationship in order for you to recognize if that relationship is healthy. There are both negative and positive signs to look out for to determine if you have a high-quality connection with your current or future partner.

These signs are listed below, but there are MANY more.

Positive SignsNegative Signs
Your feelings (both positive and negative) are validated by your partnerExtreme highs and lows that are happening frequently; blissfully happy every now and then
You have your own hobbies, talents, interests aside from your partnerYour mood depends on the state of the relationship
You have the autonomy to spend time with friends/family without your partner without feeling guiltyResponsibility is always put on you for fights; blame gets put on you for “ruining the best thing that ever happened to you”
Your partner listens to you with respectYou’re feeling less secure, less confident, less attractive than you were before the relationship
You have the right to ask for what you want in your relationshipFeeling the need to explain and defend yourself; feeling on the defense
Trusting that your partner wouldn’t intentionally do anything to hurt youYou feel inadequate, that you’re falling short of your partner’s expectations
Ability to be honest and truthful with your partner without worrying about judgmentCarefully controlling your words, actions, and emotions around your partner

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